Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
