Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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