how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
