Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
