Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
