uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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