the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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