just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
