There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
