I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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