God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
