check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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