She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize