My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
