yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
