"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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