Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
