Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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