but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can u get pink eye on your cock?
do herpes really smell.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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