Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
