It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
