When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
