I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
