There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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