Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
