Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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