sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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