Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I would fuck him just for his dog
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
