you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize