i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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