Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower