my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner