I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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