you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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