dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
