boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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