Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
