you guys were way drunker than both of me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
