You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Alive.
So much puke
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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