so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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