You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
