I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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