Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
