HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
