I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize