Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
