But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
