You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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