someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
