Midget sex pt 2 tonight
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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