That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She bit a glass in half.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
