How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
