paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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