So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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