he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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