I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
