i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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