i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize