with your own penis?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
